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Friday, July 18, 2008

10 Songs I Don't Want to Hear on the Radio

Over the past five years, Los Angeles radio has been in a state of flux. New stations have been added to the dial, and old standbys have been extensively reformatted. So, in an unusual foray into music, I thought I'd try to offer my assistance to the various radio stations as they try to find their footing.

10 songs I never want to hear on the radio ever again (in no particular order):

1. "Are You Gonna Go My Way?" by Lenny Kravitz - He is not, nor was he ever, the new Jimi Hendrix. The guitar riff repeats ad nauseam on that track, without an iota of the emotion and skill that Jimi had. Leave it in the vault.

2. Anything by the Steve Miller Band - Was there a time when people actually liked this band? These songs seem like they were written specifically for television commercials. Enough already.

3. The Counting Crows' cover of Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi" - It's a travesty.

4. "Moondance" by Van Morrison - No, it is not a marvelous night for a Moondance. Try scratching the surface of an album.

5. "Jack and Diane" by John Cougar Mellencamp - This is not the Midwest, people. This song does not inspire any nostalgia in us hardened urbanites.

6. "You Spin Me Round" by Dead or Alive - No. Just no.

7. "Informer" by Snow - This song is not even cool in an ironic way. Let's pretend like we never played this in Los Angeles.

8. "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds - We've never been given the opportunity to try to forget this song it plays so often. All together now, let's move out of the 80s.

9. "Brown Sugar" by The Rolling Stones - I don't care if you think this is the most amazing song ever written, The Rolling Stones have been writing music for almost five decades. Can we please, please, please play another of their songs?

10. "Come Sail Away" by Styx - This definitely takes the cake for being the longest most annoying song ever written.

Honorable mentions: "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion and "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston - Thankfully, I don't often listen to the stations that play those songs, so I'm spared, but I'm sure there are romantic radio listeners out there who would be thrilled if both those pledges to eternity would come to an abrupt end.


Jessica said...

This is hilarious! I don't know how you stopped at these 10. Just listen to STAR for an hour and you'll have a full list of awful frontlist, too. What's a trip to L.A. without catching the latest Josh Kelly tune on the ride home? I assume it would be heaven; I've never experienced it though so I wouldn't know.

stu said...

This seems like as good a moment as any to mention that in my guitar playing capacity I've not only learned 'Are you gonna go my way' but also an instrumental acoustic version of 'Moondance'. And there was me thinking I was learning some proper music that people would like for a change. Oh well, back to the jazz-fusion.

Joey said...

A travesty? Please. Better than the original.

Rebecca Camarena said...

Really like your blog. What part of L.A. are you in? I also have a blog about L.A. and Hollywood, check out Valley Girl Musings,
Let me know what you think.

Anonymous said...

I associate "My Heart Will Go On" not with that stupid movie, but with those idiotic Pan Pipe guys who used to hang around outside the apartment playing it 24-7. I think when you buy the Pan Pipe it comes free with the sheet music to that.

Andi said...

Ahh, "Informer." I heard it on the Friday Morning Blast-off or some crap like that recently. I almost wrecked my car thanks to all the vomiting out the window.

Nev said...

Can we add "Sexy Back" to this list?

Jessica said...

You really need to see my colleague's blog about the worst songs ever. Lenny K. makes it on the list.